This change has gotten me a bit out of balance. This morning I found myself "second guessing" the decision I made to make a job change.
The synchronicity in my life is pretty much nonstop, specifically with the numbers. So much that my life really doesn't feel "real" anymore. More often than not, because I don't view life like 99% of the people I know, including my partner and family I feel very alone and alienated. I view this "physical reality" as an illusion or a dream. I simply believe I was awoken from this "dream" for some specific purpose and now see that we are all dreaming. I have forgotten EVERYTHING I have been taught and told and been brainwashed into believing....and live in complete "present moment awareness." The "truth" is...that is all there is...and now it's gone. Much of my life is spent seeking the highest meaning in everything I take in with my five basic senses, using my "intuiton" as my compass.
I try to make sense of it all, and sometimes I don't get the answer.
Today for example I was driving into Olympia to get a driving abstract for my new employer so I can get back to work tomorrow. I got numbers all the way there.
Let me pretext this story with a story. My grandpa (moms dad) died in 1985. He was an amazing man, and I have felt his presence guiding me since day one of my awakening. After my grandpa died, my grandma bought a pure bred shi-tsu puppy. She named the dog Ming-Toy after the Ming Dynasty in China. Until the dog died a few years ago, he and my gramma were inseperable.
So, back to the story. Today on my way to get my driving abstract I was stopped at a stoplight. It was rush hour at lunchtime, and I really wasn't paying attention to license plates because there were so many of them. Then all of the sudden my eyes were drawn to a plate that read "MINGTOI." I smiled as she passed me going the other way. This woman was about my grammas age. She had white hair like my gramma, and had very similar facial features like my gramma. She could have passed as s sister. Then I looked at my clock. When I saw 12:21 it sent shivers up my spine. Not more than 30 seconds later, still smiling and trying to sort it all out in my head, as traffic was creeping along, I let a newer Honda Pilot pull in front of me into traffic. Whenever I allow someone to pull in front of me, I look for the synchronicity on the plate. 90% of the time I see something unique and this situation was no different. The first three numbers were 777-#$%. A half hour later, I saw a different car in a bank parking lot with 777-%$# plates parked right next to me when I came out. What does it all mean, and why me. Why me out of millions of people on this planet do I experience this "stuff."
Why do I feel a deep sense of urgency to teach present moment awareness, and Law of Attraction, and the "truth" about whats really going on. Why do I feel different from pretty much everyone else I know.
I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that humanity is moving through a shift of consciousness. Part of this shift is the end of the illusion of duality. The truth is we are all one. Part of this shift is an end to all war and violence, and poverty. I know it sounds far fetched given the current state of out world. All I can say is sit back and hang on for the ride. Part of this shift is that many "things" that have been hidden from us by those in power will come to the surface. Once again, sometimes I question my sanity saying this, but I "feel" it to the core of my being, and i decided a week ago to say what I felt.
If I was alone, and all this stuff was happening to just "me," I would consider the possibility that I was going crazy. But i'm not, and there are many people just like me "waking up."
What does 12-21-12 have to do with it? Somethings affoot, I'm sure of that. There are so many "theories" about that date, its hard to keep track of. After my awakening began I spent two months researching every one. I guess I will just hang on for the ride until i'm given a bit more clarity.
Why do I feel this intense desire to teach peace. Why do I feel like we should all be sharing our resources with one another, instead of "protecting" it all with multi-billion dollar militaries. The truth is there is more than enough abundance in this world to go around. Why then are there so many people dying of starvation, and depressed because they don't have enough abundance to buy their kids a christmas present. Why are we killing each other daily. Why are we fighting wars. It doesn't make sense to me anymore. I don't believe it was ever intended to be that way.
Why do I feel like there is something more to 9-11 than we were told by our government. In fact why do I feel like that when it comes to everything my governenment, the media, and various other formats tell me including this new "Swine-Flu" epedemic.
Why is it that highly enlightened, outspoken, un-afraid to speak their "truth" people have met "untimely" deaths throughout the course of history. Why was I given this deep sense of "knowing" when it comes to all of this stuff.
Why do I feel like shouting "WAKE UP" all the time. Why do I feel like I have been lied to and misled, and brainwashed to keep me from asking these questions.
I am very, very, very ready to embrace this shift in whatever form it manifests itself. I have grown tired and weary in this "reality." If I look around I can already see it happening. Not a very pleasant, abundant, peaceful existance right now for most folks, all very purposeful i'm sure. I look forward to the change with excitement and anticipation, even if i'm not around this place in physical form when "it" happens. I'm quite certain this "world" will be a much different place. Peace, Abundance, Joy, and Bliss will reign.
Thanks for letting me share my thoughts.
Love, Light, and Truth.